Is it true? Well, as the commenter who brought it up here said, for some of us it never went away. I'm sitting here at 3 in the morning wearing a nightshirt and a two-toned cardigan. The only guy for a hundred miles in any direction even more prep than me is the resident quadruped:
I love prep because it changed my life. I was just starting college when the Original Preppy Handbook was published. Prep was the only fashion trend I ever caught and I caught it for a very simple reason, all the things I needed to dress Prep were already in my closet. I'd been sailor since I was seven years old, my mother had been buying me Prep clothes (although she called it the Ivy League look) and she'd been teaching me the values and behaviours that went with those clothes all my life.
All through high school I'd fought that. I had a bit of a double life. At the yacht club I acted and dressed in ways that were later known, thanks to Birnbach, as Prep but at high school I acted like just another high school kid. I spent more than I could afford buying a second wardrobe of jeans and chambray shirts to wear to high school.
And then I went to college and suddenly I could be in style effortlessly.
And I suddenly became much more interesting to women.
Which brings me to something I think really important, the key to successful dressing is to dress for the opposite sex. This is one of those lessons that ought to be painfully obvious and yet it isn't. If you are a man, don't let other men influence how you dress and if you are a woman don't let peer pressure from other women sway your choices. In particular, as Genevieve Dariaux says in her brilliant book, don't trust your best girlfriend's advice; she is your primary rival no matter how much she loves you she won't be able to help herself and she will undercut you.
But, I'll get back to men and manliness as it is Thursday.
It's best to dress for heterosexual women, by the way, even if you are gay. If you don't believe me, check the personals and note the ratio of adds looking for "straight acting, straight looking" to those looking for "gay acting, gay looking."I'm sorry if this hurts anyone's feelings but while sexual orientation is no longer an issue for most people, the day will never come when effeminate men are accorded equal treatment in our society. The most they can hope for is a sort of grudging tolerance.
Make life easier for yourself, no matter what your sexual orientation be manly.
Enough digression. The thing about the prep look is that it encapsulates everything that women like. It's neat and clean. It's modest. No matter how much she is attracted to sex, she doesn't want it shoved in her face outside the bedroom. It involves jackets and suits and ties and no matter what anybody tells you different, women love jackets and suits and ties. Preps wear clean polished shoes and women like clean polished shoes.
It is neither effeminate nor overtly masculine. Extremes are not good bets in life. Be honest, you may fantasize about the Angelina Jolie type but really she is like a vintage Jaguar XKE, beautiful to look at but you wouldn't really want to own it. Not for very long anyway. We all know the type, high-maintenance, undependable, a little bit of a fruit loop to be honest. Women look at men in much the same way. Extreme masculine behaviour is bad sign and they know it.
Finally, and you knew this had to be coming, Prep embodies virtue. It's not enough to wear the clothes you have to adopt the values and the only way to get them is to train yourself into them.
A cousin of mine used to say years ago that there are few deadlier mistakes than taking up a new sport and buying all the same clothes that competitive athletes wear. People take one look at a neophyte in those clothes and they see a fraud. You can put on the blue blazer, light flannels, tie and loafers but if you are sitting at a table and a woman comes to join the group and you're still in your chair, you blew it. You're like the guy who has the same clothes and bike as the winner of the Tour de France but can't ride two blocks without puffing like a steam engine.
"...she'd been teaching me the values and behaviours that went with those clothes all my life. Prep embodies virtue. It's not enough to wear the clothes you have to adopt the values and the only way to get them is to train yourself into them."
ReplyDeleteThis is so true. We were lucky in that our training started at a very young age, so it became a part of who we are and, as you say, its effortless.
I agree with everything you say here. Prep is always appropriate and it works in every situation.
"You can put on the blue blazer, light flannels, tie and loafers but if you are sitting at a table and a woman comes to join the group and you're still in your chair, you blew it."
ReplyDeleteThis requires training from an early age, not that it can't be acquired later, but its not as ingrained. I've also known "true Preps" by virtue of their pedigree who don't know enough to stand when a woman enters a group, so they didn't get it or they ignored it if it was taught at home or prep school despite the pedigree.