There was an atypically negative reaction from a sizable minority of our readers to an item in our previous message regarding female fashion (along with positive feedback). We are truly grateful to those of you who took the time to send in criticisms--they help us more than you can possibly know. There is no doubt that your author failed as a writer because a good number of you clearly mistook his tone or meaning on an issue that is very personal, and for his part in failing to communicate and edify effectively, he sincerely apologizes. If your feelings were hurt, please, find it in your heart to forgive.This is a long-winded example of the classic non-apology. He isn't apologizing for what he said, he is saying he finds it unfortunate that others were upset. He thinks that he only failed in not expressing himself more carefully and does not accept that what he said was stupid, wrong and, far worse, passed itself off as Catholic when it is just one man's opinion.
In the unlikely event he comes by here, here is a suggestion for how to do it right.
Dear reader, when I wrote the post that caused so many of you to correctly complain, I was way out of line. It was a stupid, condescending post lacking proper respect for women. I am particularly sorry for the bit I site below which was so stupid as to be Neanderthal:Dear CatholiCity, please feel free to use the above with my blessing.
Do not misunderstand us: we have no problem with men delegating clothing purchases to their wives; we only object to men who abandon the responsibility they have to guide and influence the moral, psychological, and practical implications of clothing that is purchased. Men should set the highest standard for their wives and daughters in this respect.Quite obviously men have no authority whatsoever to guide their wives in what clothes the wear (although they are free to present their opinions and to listen to their wives opinions on the matter). If any proof were necessary that men do not have such authority I have provided it by making these ludicrous comments in the first place. Again, please accept my apologies.
You're welcome.
"...passed itself off as Catholic when it is just one man's opinion."
ReplyDeleteThis happens a lot, more than anyone wants to admit, even in legitimate Catholic publications and organizations. People--even some priests who should know better--bring their own biases and sometimes they're not even aware of it. Or they might have been told something inaccurate twenty years ago and assumed the source knew what they were talking about, so it stuck in their minds. I think part of the problem is that Catholic teaching is so complicated--"scholasticism on steroids" someone described it--which makes it difficult for many people to comprehend. So they extrapolate or draw conclusions that seem logical to them but are in fact erroneous. They write an article, someone more clueless than they reads it, and believes it is Catholic teaching. And as you said in an earlier post, this has been going on for centuries.
I agree that some people do bring their biases and are not aware of it.
ReplyDeleteA lot of others are fully aware of what they are doing and I think this guy is one of them. He is one of those people who just love running other people's lives, particularly women's lives.
You're right, I hadn't thought of that, I had a momentary lapse of cynicism! He just sounded like such a dork.
ReplyDeleteYou know Jules, reading some of the blogs you post on the left side, it is apparent that everyone has their own ideas about everything from eating in Churches, to plays and concerts, to the saints among us. The Church can't police peoples' thoughts, even when it happens to be right (yes, I believe they get some things right sometimes). And maybe it was ever thus. I won't comment on some of what I read but this started me thinking about an article someone sent me as an email attachment a few years ago. It was written by a well-known priest now deceased who said that only in North America are there Catholics who believe they must follow to the letter what the Church teaches. The article went on to say that this is not the case in Europe, especially Italy, and that when Rome issues statements--about sex mostly--the hope is that people will maybe adhere to 50% or 25% or 10% of what the statement says. In the case of SRT, he goes way beyond and has distorted what the Church teaches. It occurs to me that this might be the strong Protestant influence in the United States historically, and the rise of Protestant Fundamentalism in recent years. This is a phenomenon that Europe has never had to deal with.
ReplyDeleteYes absolutely. EVeryone does have their own ideas and the church should leave them more room to try and work it out creatively as individuals. My copy of After Virtue has gone missing right now but there is quote in the section of Medieval concepts of virtue where MacIntyre makes this point better than I can. When I find it, I'll post it here.
ReplyDeleteThanks, I look forward to reading it.
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