Thursday, July 15, 2010

Ask Men or ask not?

So I've been prowling around the Ask Men site after citing their poll about the most influential men a few days ago. I have to say that I have mixed feelings. There is some really good stuff there especially the ten reasons you may be too good for her. Just asking the question should get them some sort of medal. Too many men ruin their lives by believing that all women are too good for them. Women are not one tiny bit better than men and no man should believe or allow himself to be badgered into believing so. This is especially true when it comes to sex.

Other stuff, though had me wondering. It's not that a lot of what you find there is trivial, it's more that a lot of the good stuff really misses the point. For example, there is Things Men Shouldn't do after 30. It's not that the advice is bad. To the contrary, every single thing they list is something men shouldn't do after 30. But here is the problem: you shouldn't need to be told. If you really need someone else to point any of this stuff out to you, then you are already beyond hope. If you get to 30 without figuring this stuff out for yourself, you've probably wasted your life.

There is an obvious defence though and it is this: these lists aren't intended  to be authoritative. The point is to get you thinking and say, okay, what do I think I should have quit doing by now. And then, once I have my list, what do I have to do to actually quit doing them.

By the way, the are-you-too-good-for-her list is here. I relate to that one particularly because there was a time in my life when I had to face the fact that I was too good for the woman I was with. Numbers 10, 3  and 1 were the ones that applied in my case. (Yes, I really was that shallow that I had a hard time seeing those things as problems.)

The one that really intrigues me is their Number 9. It's about sex and it's one of those things that feels right but also feels wrong.  Here is the money line:
No limits or boundaries in the intimate sphere means serious problems with self-respect and control in general.
More about that in a subsequent post.


  1. I took the test. #s 2,3,4 would be total deal-breakers for me, not even a 2nd date. #1 I'm ambivalent about, #9 I should be so lucky!

  2. In all seriousness, I don't agree with their assertion that you quoted above about limits or boundaries in the bedroom, or what it is indicative of. Many men and women have wild fantasies that they would never think of acting out except in an intimate relationship. Sounds a little chauvinistic to me, u think?