Saturday, February 13, 2010

The alpha-male phenomenon (bumped)

Update: A friend asked me a question about this post in conversation that made me realize that I should clarify something. Everything that follows here is just a description of what are typical human behaviours. I do not mean to say that any of this is meant to suggest how people should behave. The word "love" appears nowhere in the following because this is not the way people who love behave.


Because of a number of over-heated articles about modern dating and sex, there has been a lot of discussion about a significant subset of woman making themselves sexually available to "alpha" men (and guys who can pass themselves off as alpha). I'm sure this is true. When I was in university it was called the groupie phenomenon. The drunken asshole women would cross the street to avoid at noon, would show up in the band that night and they'd throw themselves at him. I paid my way through university working as a sailing instructor, a bartender and a bouncer in the early 1980s and it was quite jarring to see how much more interest even the status that went with those jobs (especially bouncer) bought me. I got to be quite a jerk about it for while. So, love it or hate it, a sizable minority of women will always be doing stupid things like this.

There is something about this, however, something so simple that it is perhaps too obvious for many to notice. The sex these women are having with these men is casual sex. That is why the "got game" guys succeed. In any sort of real relationship it would rapidly become obvious that these guys did not, in fact, have much status. The whole "trick" these guys supposedly play on women will only work on women who have decided to pursue a casual fantasy. All of which makes Courtney A recounting her hook up with Tucker Max rather pathetic. She can't even get aroused enough to have a good time.

You have to wonder if it wouldn't have been not only easier but far more satisfactory to stay at home and masturbate. It makes me wonder why she bothered or if, perhaps, the whole point of the escapade was to be able to tell the story afterward and the actual sex was only incidental. Maybe she is like one of those people who goes to the Louvre once just to be able to say they have done it and then spends the rest of their life retailing the same story about how the Mona Lisa was disappointing.

In any case, it's hard to see how these women are victims of anyone but themselves.

Guys do the exact opposite; we tend to look for low status females as casual sex partners and a high status female as a marriage partner. After we are in a relationship, other high status females function as markers for certain ideals and not people we imagine hooking up with. The attraction is not to the particular woman but the type. If the guy in your life gets gaga about some low-status female, that tells you about the type he fantasizes about when he gets personal with himself, if you know what I mean. If the guy in your life is getting a little gaga about some high-status female, the message is, "This is the ideal I think you should shoot for." I can see how that might not be very palatable for some but I don't see any reason to sugarcoat it.

Low status, by the way, can often include famous or wealthy women: Paris Hilton, Courtney Love, Megan Fox, Katy Perry, Miley Cyrus and anyone on Jersey Shore are all, and always will be, low status. To underline my point about our being interested in the ideal, note that Joey Potter is high status and Katie Holmes is low status and Jennie Garth is high status and Shannen Dougherty is low status.


Not particularly relevant but I think the trick whereby someone with whole lot of fame or money manages to come of as low status might be called the Versace phenomenon.

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