You've probably never heard of Chester Brown. I never had until I read about him in last week's newspaper. His big achievement is that he is both cartoonist and a cartoon. He's just published a book called Paying For It, a comic strip memoir about being a john. (Interesting title: we don't really have to read the book now do we?)
The opening panels show Chester and his ex discussing "his growing disillusionment with romantic love". The following dialogue ensues:
He:
Aside from love, there were three reasons I wanted to have girlfriends. One: because it is expected—guys who don't have girlfriends are considered to be losers. Two: I liked the ego-boost of having a woman want me to have that sort of exclusive relationship with me. And three: sex.She:
But you don't have to have a girlfriend to have sex.
That takes four panels. I think Mary Worth's plots moved faster than this.
Notice the interesting slip in the first panel where it's "girlfriends" plural he wants. So the whole love claim is just a lie. He says the conventional thing because it's expected of him but he doesn't really value love that much. He isn't disillusioned with romantic love, he never cared for it in the first place.
His first stated reason is because he doesn't want to appear like a loser. Okay, but if this really matters to him then going to prostitutes makes no sense at all. 'Cause if you want to look like a loser, paying for it is the way to do it. So this is another lie. Truth is Chester Brown doesn't much care what other people think of him.
His second stated reason is getting closer to the mark. But it is also making "Aside from love" more and more ludicrous sounding isn't it. Because Chester Brown is about as perfect an example of textbook narcissism as you'll ever find. The "girlfriends" don't matter as human beings in their own right; their only real purpose is to validate his self image. He's the star and they are bit players.
By the way, it's a little weird his saying that it is the woman wanting an exclusive relationship that gives him the ego boost. If an ego boost is what you really want, you get much more bang for your buck (if you'll pardon the expression) from having more than one woman wanting you so badly that they are willing to settle for non-exclusive relationships. Why? Because that's the harder thing to achieve. But, again, he's a narcissist, his ego doesn't need boosting. All he needs is bit players to support the unshakeable self image he already has. Who his girlfriends really are doesn't matter, why they may as well be paid hookers for all the difference ... .
And it's awful nice of his ex-girlfriend to tell him he doesn't need a girlfriend to have sex isn't it? What was she really thinking? She clearly had no trouble concluding that neither love nor the other two stated reasons really mattered all that much in the final analysis. And she is Chester's ex-girlfriend.
But why did he need to write a book about it? To justify what he is doing? To whom? To most of us, this book only confirms that Chester is a loser. No, the answer to everything about Chester Brown is narcissism.
I think there are dark moments when a lot of men have the thoughts that Chester Brown is having here. Sexual love means so much to us that when, as it inevitably does, this sort of love gets difficult, the thought will occasionally cross a guy's mind that it might be easier to just ... and here a wide range of answers from "just jerk off" to "call a hooker" might pop into our heads. And it is easier to do both of those things. The odd thing is not having the thought but being satisfied with the one of these alternatives. For the last twenty-four years Chester Brown's sexual relationships have all been with hookers. And now he writes a book about it in which he is the hero.
Well, of course he does, Chester is always the hero of the story and everyone else is just a supporting player. They may as well be hookers for all the difference it's going to make. That's the way narcissists see it.
Interestingly, the review in the Globe and Mail promotes the book heavily. It's called "relentlessly honest".
Simply told in a deceptively straightforward manner, Paying for It is a defiant work of truth-telling and a welcome return to autobiographical comics from one of the medium’s incontrovertible masters.Well, in a sense yeah. Any creep can write a relentlessly honest book or defiant work of truth telling but no amount of honesty compensates for the fact that the author is a creep.
And the point is to not be a creep.
By the way, the book's description and Brad Mackay's fawning review pretty much confirm everything you've ever suspected about adult men who are really into comics don't they?
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