At the end of my twenties, I found myself in a relationship that just wasn't going anywhere. I was the same situation Maggie was with Joel. I'd fallen in love with this woman and she agreed to marriage in principle—we were actually engaged—but never seemed to be ready to move ahead. Unlike Maggie and Joel, we never saw a counselor.
A lot of people get stuck like I was stuck. I think the reason we get stuck is we ask the wrong question. I kept asking "Why won't S make the commitment?" But when we find ourselves with someone who won't make a commitment, the question we really should be asking is "Why the ____ am I still in this relationship?" The thing to figure out is not what is wrong with them but what is wrong with us that we can't dump them like they deserve to be dumped.
The reason we don't dump them is that we are settling.
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