Thursday, May 9, 2013

Teaching women to be stupid

Why is it that "experts" who advise women assume that women are stupid, shallow and in denial?

Consider, for example, "The Real Reason Older Men Like to Date Younger Women". This isn't a challenging question; the answer is, because they are younger women. The thing that actually needs explaining is why is it that so many younger women like to date older men. But thinking about that is kind of threatening for other women.

The author of the piece, who signs herself, "Kim Oliver", probably knows this. She isn't stupid. But modern women expect to be flattered and sheltered from reality so, whatever the answer is, it has to be mens' fault! She gives us two options: 1) the conventional wisdom and then 2) the "real answer". The important thing is not what makes the two answers different but the astounding similarity that both answers assume men men are jerks.

Answer 1

Admit it, when you see an older man who's dating a much younger woman, you assume it's because he must be going through some sort of mid-life crisis. His more youthful female companion may be more sexually attractive to him (making him feel younger in the process) and she probably doesn't call him out on his issues like an older woman might. After all, young women are fun, free-spirited, energetic and have a zest for life. This youthful energy is attractive to an older man who may be feeling his mortality.
Strip away the gesturing, and that's just a long version of my answer from above. Men date younger women because they are younger women. The extra length is necessary to explain everything in terms of things supposedly lacking in the man so single women don't have to seriously ask themselves what they have to offer a man and why a man might choose a younger woman over them if given the choice. So, he has "a mid-life crisis", he needs to feel younger, he hates being called out on his "issues"and he is scared of dying.

And notice the fudging, "His more youthful female companion may be more sexually attractive to him." Yeah, she just might be. What is this crap? Of course she is more attractive sexually to him. Walk around and look at younger and older women. Which do you think are more sexually attractive? This isn't hard to figure out. (BTW: how hard is it to figure out that you should stop calling "him on his issues" or, to put it in plain language, that you should stop being a whining bitch?)

Answer 2

The second answer is actually brilliant, the problem is that it doesn't answer the question Oliver claims to be answering. The following is actually a brilliant explanation of why younger women are attracted to older men:
This [the need for connection] is a need that is different for men and women at different stages in their lives. Young adult women typically have more of a need for connection. While they will create careers, they also want to eventually create a family. On the other hand, young adult men are more focused on the need for significance. They have relationships and start families, but their primary focus is figuring out a way to make it in the world. In young adult relationships, these needs are often in conflict, as the woman wants more intimacy and the man is focused on building his career. Older men and younger women share that same need for connection.
Now, if we keep in mind the obvious fact that the appeal of younger women needs no explanation, we can see how things work out the way they do. The younger woman would, ideally, prefer a young man but younger men don't necessarily want to satisfy her need for connection. A lot of young men are only looking for sexual thrills only and the relatively few good ones who are looking for more than just that get snapped up pretty quickly. As a young woman, she has no trouble getting sex; her challenge is getting it on the terms she wants. And here is an older man who wants her and wants connection. And the only serious competition for his attention is a bunch of bitter women a decade older than her!

And it's not like couples in which the man is older are a rarity. The overwhelming number of successful couples tend to be those where the man is at least three years older than the woman. The thing that needs explaining is why so few couples go the other way. Again, the answer to this question is not going to be congenial reading for women who've grown up believing they can have it all.

Flattering and sheltering her female audience to the end, Oliver has to paint the older man dating a younger woman as a failure.
At some point, an older man will realize he's squandered his youth on the pursuit of power and may have neglected his family in the process. 
 Gee, what a loser. He's squandered his youth. It's almost enough to make you forget the hot young woman looking at him adoringly. If he's squandered his youth, how come he's in a relationship and you're single and bitterly asking yourself what older men can possibly see in younger women?

And if the woman reading this expert advice is so much better than him, why is she spending her middle age competing with younger, hotter women for the few good men still available? That sounds more like the wages of squandering your youth to me.

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