I was reading Cracked online. I know, that confirms your worst suspicions about me. But there is some good stuff there. It's spectacularly uneven and they have mastered the knack of pitching you with titles that make you click such as , "Six sex toys seemingly designed to ruin sex". No doubt you're a better person than me but I clicked on that.
Anyway, I also clicked on "Five horrible life lessons learned from teen movies". And I immediately found myself disagreeing with the first one which was "Undergoing a Physical and Mental Transformation is the Way to Lasting Happiness". Because I think that it is the way to lasting happiness. It's not all of it but it's a huge part of it.
Women instinctively get this. Men don't and it's a lesson we could learn from women. And once upon a time everyone knew it. It was a staple of old movies that men learned to be civilized from women and that we became civilized by undergoing physical and mental transformations for women. Even when this became a bit of a joke in the early 1960s it still followed the form. Frankie Avalon's character always figured out that he had to change if he really wanted Annette Funicello's character to love him. But already it was becoming a joke.
Women also get that undergoing a physical and mental transformation is a damned difficult thing to do. To paraphrase the old line, people give up on it not because it doesn't work but because it's hard. You can't just buy the clothes, you have to train yourself to behave differently.
(And, for the benefit of the writers at Cracked, Grease was a parody.)
Anyway, the problem we moderns are supposed to have with the idea of changing yourself "outside" is that the real you is supposed to be "inside". As the editors at Cracked helpfully explain:
Because you've never seen that look before. Wow, a leather jacket how terribly individualistic. And that haircut why in 1985, when this movie came out, you only saw that haircut twenty times a day. (And you only saw it that often because it was a left-over that anyone alive in 1985 would have recognized as a late 1970s style cut.)
(Again, I hate to have to explain basic plot points but, for the benefit of the editors at Cracked, Allison does not change in The Breakfast Club because she has a crush on "popular jock Andrew". She hates him as well as all the other popular kids. She thinks they hate her back but the truth is they laugh at her when they notice her at all. She is the narcissist in the story. The point of the transformation in the movie is that when Allison relaxes her anger at the world around her and adopts some of the then-prevailing standards, the world returns the favour by being interested in her. Does that bother you? Well, I have bad news for you 'cause that's the way people are. Don't believe me? Try dressing up like Mitt Romney and going to a Goth club; just make sure your affairs are in order and your will is up to date is up to date before you go.)
The problem with individuality is that no matter where you go to get it there is already a market waiting for you. Want to go Goth? There are movies to show you how, bands waiting to sell you the lifestyle and vendors willing to sell you the clothes and tattoo and piercing parlours waiting to mutilate you. It's probably a billion dollar per annum market.
No matter what you do, you're joining a club. So the question is: Which club do you want to be a part of? Think carefully because there are a lot of bad choices out there. Strange as this may seem, sullen people who wear leather jackets, skimp on personal hygiene tend to be difficult get along with, lack empathy and are sometimes even dangerous and violent rather than being people who are reflecting their "individuality, background and personal style".
And the club you want to join will be determined by whose in it.
Or it might not. A lot of people rebel against the idea of having to earn their way into a club. "If they won't take me as I am then screw them!" You can say that if you want but the truth is that they won't take you as you are and nothing is going to change that. Ever.
Anyway, I also clicked on "Five horrible life lessons learned from teen movies". And I immediately found myself disagreeing with the first one which was "Undergoing a Physical and Mental Transformation is the Way to Lasting Happiness". Because I think that it is the way to lasting happiness. It's not all of it but it's a huge part of it.
Women instinctively get this. Men don't and it's a lesson we could learn from women. And once upon a time everyone knew it. It was a staple of old movies that men learned to be civilized from women and that we became civilized by undergoing physical and mental transformations for women. Even when this became a bit of a joke in the early 1960s it still followed the form. Frankie Avalon's character always figured out that he had to change if he really wanted Annette Funicello's character to love him. But already it was becoming a joke.
Women also get that undergoing a physical and mental transformation is a damned difficult thing to do. To paraphrase the old line, people give up on it not because it doesn't work but because it's hard. You can't just buy the clothes, you have to train yourself to behave differently.
(And, for the benefit of the writers at Cracked, Grease was a parody.)
Anyway, the problem we moderns are supposed to have with the idea of changing yourself "outside" is that the real you is supposed to be "inside". As the editors at Cracked helpfully explain:
Can't get a date? The person you love doesn't love you back? Well, according to teen movies, it's probably because you dress in clothing that reflects your individuality, background and personal style. The solution couldn't be any simpler: Just completely erase any external evidence of your personality, and physically transform yourself into whatever you think your crush will like.Teens dress to reflect their "individuality, background and personal style"? I wonder where that is. Oh, we have an example in the piece. In The Breakfast Club where "mysterious, silent Allison gets a makeover that transforms her from standard "cute goth" to "hip and sexy". The question here is not whether the new Allison is better than the old one. The question is whether the old Allison dressed in a way that reflects her individuality, background and personal style. Here's a picture:
Because you've never seen that look before. Wow, a leather jacket how terribly individualistic. And that haircut why in 1985, when this movie came out, you only saw that haircut twenty times a day. (And you only saw it that often because it was a left-over that anyone alive in 1985 would have recognized as a late 1970s style cut.)
(Again, I hate to have to explain basic plot points but, for the benefit of the editors at Cracked, Allison does not change in The Breakfast Club because she has a crush on "popular jock Andrew". She hates him as well as all the other popular kids. She thinks they hate her back but the truth is they laugh at her when they notice her at all. She is the narcissist in the story. The point of the transformation in the movie is that when Allison relaxes her anger at the world around her and adopts some of the then-prevailing standards, the world returns the favour by being interested in her. Does that bother you? Well, I have bad news for you 'cause that's the way people are. Don't believe me? Try dressing up like Mitt Romney and going to a Goth club; just make sure your affairs are in order and your will is up to date is up to date before you go.)
The problem with individuality is that no matter where you go to get it there is already a market waiting for you. Want to go Goth? There are movies to show you how, bands waiting to sell you the lifestyle and vendors willing to sell you the clothes and tattoo and piercing parlours waiting to mutilate you. It's probably a billion dollar per annum market.
No matter what you do, you're joining a club. So the question is: Which club do you want to be a part of? Think carefully because there are a lot of bad choices out there. Strange as this may seem, sullen people who wear leather jackets, skimp on personal hygiene tend to be difficult get along with, lack empathy and are sometimes even dangerous and violent rather than being people who are reflecting their "individuality, background and personal style".
And the club you want to join will be determined by whose in it.
Or it might not. A lot of people rebel against the idea of having to earn their way into a club. "If they won't take me as I am then screw them!" You can say that if you want but the truth is that they won't take you as you are and nothing is going to change that. Ever.
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