Some will argue that you can’t have it both ways: how can a woman say she is fully in charge of her body and her destiny, and then call herself a victim when, having given a man her heart of her own volition, he crushes it? How can a consensual relationship, as Salinger’s unquestionably were, constitute a form of abuse?That's Joyce Maynard reflecting on the relationship she had with JD Salinger when she was a teenager and he was some thirty-five years older.
It strikes me that she would not have needed to justify herself before feminism.
It also strikes me that she—and, it appears, many others—was a groupie.
There is a great moment in Heart of Darkness when a badly abused native man tentatively pushes his spear at one of the Europeans who had oppressed him and, to his shock, finds that it goes into the man's body quite easily. I sometimes wonder if impressionable young women don't sometimes attach themselves to older men because it feels safer than bonding with a man their own age. And then, to their shock, they discover that it goes in quite easily.