One of life's little lessons is that you can't really comment behaviour. We use the express "I'm going to call her on that" but you can't.
Suppose you are dealing with someone who pulls some classic passive-aggressive trick on you. She says, "I suppose you won't be able to come over for a visit." You bristle because you feel manipulated and you feel manipulated because you are in fact being manipulated. If she did this sort of thing once—then you could both treat it as a light-hearted remark—but she does this every time.
But the problem if you try "to call her on it" is that she thinks she is behaving normally. In fact, she she's you as the aggressor. That is why she pulls the passive-aggressive tricks in the first place.
ADDED: Talking about something else altogether, Ann Althouse pulls out a beautiful sentence that applies here:
Suppose you are dealing with someone who pulls some classic passive-aggressive trick on you. She says, "I suppose you won't be able to come over for a visit." You bristle because you feel manipulated and you feel manipulated because you are in fact being manipulated. If she did this sort of thing once—then you could both treat it as a light-hearted remark—but she does this every time.
But the problem if you try "to call her on it" is that she thinks she is behaving normally. In fact, she she's you as the aggressor. That is why she pulls the passive-aggressive tricks in the first place.
ADDED: Talking about something else altogether, Ann Althouse pulls out a beautiful sentence that applies here:
And when I say the argument was stupid, I mean that I was stupid not to see the nature of the argument and bow out quickly.
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