Sitting here by the seashore, I keep remembering two recent experiences from the city.
The first was a conversation between a couple. As they walked by, I heard him say to her, "You wouldn't want to see a picture of you naked?" He said this with the same incredulous tone that he might have said, "You wouldn't want a thousand dollars?"
I was stuck by the amazing lack of empathy. The only thing this guy could grasp was his own feelings. For some reason he wanted this woman to have a nude photo taken of herself. He couldn't see why a woman wouldn't be just as thrilled at that prospect as he was.
The second experience was of walking through a city park with five high school girls out during their lunch hour. They were listening to a song on one of the girl's smartphones. This through the tiny speaker so they weren't doing this for the musical experience. The song was a hip hop tune and the guy was rapping two lines over and over again. The first line never changed. The rapper discussed two aspects of some woman's anatomy in it. One of these as "big" and "fat" and the other was "really juicy". The next line varied a little. It discussed what the guy was going to do to her. "I'm going to ... and then I'm going to ...." The things he was going to do were aggressive and even violent and he sang as if the consent of the woman he was singing mattered not at all.
What made it interesting was that the girls, who clearly knew every line of the song off by heart, were taking turns singing couplets to one another. One of the more extroverted girls started by turning to another and singing, declaiming really, a couplet to another who responded by doing the same right back and then, between, them they singled out the others.
There was one girl who. clearly shier than the rest, moved away as if she didn't want to be part of this. Eventually, one of the more extroverted girls noticed this and went after her, singing two of the vilest suggestions at her very loud. Every man in the park was already paying attention so it didn't change anything as far as he audience to this was concerned but it had a big effect on the girl. She smiled, very clearly pleased to be included.
What I'd suggest about all this behaviour is that it is completely normal. In the city anyway. Not here where my life is directed by the flow of the tide and fog (which come in together). This morning I woke up to a rooster for only the second time of my life.
Anyway, if we take the time to think about it, it should be quite obvious why some types of exhibitionism appeal to some kinds of women whereas others don't. The girls in the park knew exactly what they were doing even though none of them would have been able to articulate why if they had been asked. The woman who didn't want a nude photo take of herself probably couldn't articulate her reasons either but she, too, was doing exactly what she wanted, or, more precisely, not doing exactly what she didn't want.
The first was a conversation between a couple. As they walked by, I heard him say to her, "You wouldn't want to see a picture of you naked?" He said this with the same incredulous tone that he might have said, "You wouldn't want a thousand dollars?"
I was stuck by the amazing lack of empathy. The only thing this guy could grasp was his own feelings. For some reason he wanted this woman to have a nude photo taken of herself. He couldn't see why a woman wouldn't be just as thrilled at that prospect as he was.
The second experience was of walking through a city park with five high school girls out during their lunch hour. They were listening to a song on one of the girl's smartphones. This through the tiny speaker so they weren't doing this for the musical experience. The song was a hip hop tune and the guy was rapping two lines over and over again. The first line never changed. The rapper discussed two aspects of some woman's anatomy in it. One of these as "big" and "fat" and the other was "really juicy". The next line varied a little. It discussed what the guy was going to do to her. "I'm going to ... and then I'm going to ...." The things he was going to do were aggressive and even violent and he sang as if the consent of the woman he was singing mattered not at all.
What made it interesting was that the girls, who clearly knew every line of the song off by heart, were taking turns singing couplets to one another. One of the more extroverted girls started by turning to another and singing, declaiming really, a couplet to another who responded by doing the same right back and then, between, them they singled out the others.
There was one girl who. clearly shier than the rest, moved away as if she didn't want to be part of this. Eventually, one of the more extroverted girls noticed this and went after her, singing two of the vilest suggestions at her very loud. Every man in the park was already paying attention so it didn't change anything as far as he audience to this was concerned but it had a big effect on the girl. She smiled, very clearly pleased to be included.
What I'd suggest about all this behaviour is that it is completely normal. In the city anyway. Not here where my life is directed by the flow of the tide and fog (which come in together). This morning I woke up to a rooster for only the second time of my life.
Anyway, if we take the time to think about it, it should be quite obvious why some types of exhibitionism appeal to some kinds of women whereas others don't. The girls in the park knew exactly what they were doing even though none of them would have been able to articulate why if they had been asked. The woman who didn't want a nude photo take of herself probably couldn't articulate her reasons either but she, too, was doing exactly what she wanted, or, more precisely, not doing exactly what she didn't want.
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