Here is a fun little controversey

Former volleyball star and model Gabrielle Recce has written a book about how she saved her marriage. She has provoked a spittle-flecked nutty among the usual suspects for saying things like this:

“To truly be feminine means being soft, receptive, and –- look out, here it comes –- submissive.”

and this:

"If you want to have that dynamic where your guy isn’t like, your chick — guess what?  You better give him some love.”

Well, the criticisms practically write themselves.

Except that I think there is some real gold there, especially in the second of the two quotes. "If you want to have that dynamic where your guy isn’t like, your chick ..." That's it exactly. Marriage is a relationship between a man and a woman. That's not a legal point, but a practical one. It, as Recce admits, is an old-fashioned dynamic. That's why it works: "The fundamental things apply as time goes by." You each have to have to take responsibility to play your part but you also have to create the sort of environment where the man in your life can be the man in your life.

One of the really damaging feminism has done is to encourage women in the fantasy that marriage is something like a really, really good friendship. It isn't and if you treat it like a friendship it will cease to be a marriage.

Before going, a comment on the word "submissive". I don't like it here but not for the reason you might guess. It's too easy to use submissive as an excuse to be lazy and irresponsible. If Wendy is submissive to Terry, then all the responsibility to make things go right becomes his.

(The words "soft" and "receptive" on the other had are perfect, especially "receptive")

Recce does better in this elaboration:

“I think the idea of living with a partner is ‘How can I make their life better?’  So if I’m the woman and he’s the man, then yes, that’s the dynamic.  I’m willing and I choose to serve my family and my husband, because it creates a dynamic where he is then in fact acting more like a man and masculine, and treating me the way I want to be treated.  Which is — I’d like to be cherished, and I’d like someone to look after me in that role.

...

“I think because women have the ability to set the tone, that the ultimate strength and showing real power…is creating that environment.  I think it’s a sign of strength.’’

That's really good. Set the tone wherein he can be a man and you can be a woman. That's hard work, it means developing real feminine strength and virtue. And yes, this includes being sexy and sexual! For him and not just for yourself! That's not all of it, of course, but it is an absolutely essential part of it.

"If you want to have that dynamic where your guy isn’t like, your chick — guess what?  You better give him some love.”

Some women, of course, will respond by saying that they don't want to be cherished. They're lying to themselves and others.