Some developments on the shaving front

It's Friday, so something light seems called for. Like Psalm 51 perhaps.

Something light on the blog I mean—Friday is a day of repentance in real life.

Shaving oil
I've started using one. Mostly for sensual purposes. I love the way it smells. My barber puts it on my skin before she shaves me and the whole thing is a sensual pleasure of the highest order. A beautiful young woman dotes on me and cares for me for the better part of an a hour, cutting my hair and shaving me. In one especially delicious moment, she puts oil on her hands and massages my face.

I always get a haircut and barbershop shave on the Monday after First Friday of each month as a reward for remembering to go to confession on First Friday. At moments like that I pity the great sultans that they lived such impoverished lives, completely empty in comparison with the rich, sensual existence I live. Using the shaving oil at home doesn't quite reproduce that sensation but it feels good and smells good.

And added benefit is that it makes your skin tingle. I'm guessing that it is eucalyptus oil perhaps with some other stuff such as mint extracts that does this (Shaving oil isn't medicine or food, so J Crew don't have to tell us what goes into it). But the question is: what does it signify?

I have a suspicion that most women I know would respond to my saying that I like the tingle by saying, "That's because you can feel it working." I don't think women are stupid or silly, although they are almost certainly wrong when they say things like that. But they've been trained to say things like that by advertising. Here is an example of the sort of ad copy that is levelled at women:

Feel this rich lathering cleanser tingle as it deep cleans down to the pores. The water-based formula with camphor, menthol and eucalyptus dissolves oil and removes dirt and make-up.

I don't know if you could pack more stupid into two sentences. What, for example, is so good about a water-based formula? "Water," you say, "why water is good, all living beings need water." But so what? Here is a teaspoon of cyanide guaranteed to kill you. I will now stir it into a glass of water. Okay, here is a glass of water-based formula, want to drink it?

(And do you know what will do a better job of cleansing your pores than any "lathering cleanser"? A good hard work out that makes you sweat followed by a shower.)

There is lots of stuff that tingles when you put it on your skin. Maybe it has antiseptic qualities, maybe it doesn't. But it feels good doesn't it?

Why isn't "because it feels good" a good enough reason to do something?

I'll grant you that there are plenty of occasions when we do things we know are wrong because they feel good. But why is it that we can't bring ourselves to do something simply because it feels good in the absence of any reason not to do it? How did we get to be such appalling puritans we have to make up pseudo-scientific nonsense to justify our sensual pleasures?

"Because there are people suffering while you're decadently smearing costly cosmetics on your face, you idiot!" Maybe but there were also people suffering while you surfed the net instead of starting work this morning. And you felt guilty when you finished wasting that time. I felt good after shaving. And people have jobs making those cosmetics because of people like me so show respect you puritan!

Eau de toilette as aftershave
This is my latest discovery. Eau de toilette literally translates as 'toilet water", which isn't very appealing, but it actually means scented stuff that is heavily diluted in in alcohol. If you put it on it leaves a scent that a woman can only smell after she has gotten close enough to you to let you kiss her.

I like the aesthetics of that. It's not advertising. It's sort of a secret benefit that comes after she has committed herself. An extra sensory trigger that she can associate with you in her memory. Very Proustian that. Of course, you can also ruin it bey being a complete creep and she can thereafter think hateful thoughts of you every time she smells the key scent ingredient. That, it seems to me, is the manly way to think of these things.

But what is wrong with aftershave you ask? There is nothing necessarily wrong with it. In the beginning, all aftershaves were simply eau de toilette relabeled for the male market. "Eau de toilette" sounds girly and suggests some babe in her boudoir feeding bonbons to her Pekinese while maiden servants spritz her with eau de toilette. But that equation has now reversed. Eau de toilette is the simple goods while aftershaves have become the decadent product sold with all sorts of narcissistic mystique. Most of the price you pay is for the brand name on the front and the personality you think you are buying with the product.

The other problem with current aftershaves is that they are too damned strong. Some of these so much so that if you step on the bus and people start diving for the exits. But even if not that bad, no woman not about to let you kiss her should ever smell your scent. It just isn't manly to advertise like that.

In any case, check it out eau de toilette as an option. I have been using Lothantique "Marine".

By the way, one of the best things about a nice subtle scent is that you can smell it. It adds just a little extra sensual pleasure to your life. You'll be a better person for it.

Oh yeah, the alcohol really tingles when it hits your just shaved skin. It's bracing and makes you feel like a man. That's a good feeling. In fact, I'm not sure there is any better feeling. It's another reason to praise God and give him thanks.