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I said somewhere in one of my earlier posts that ways of life come as packages. Accept a crucial notion such as fate as a major moral force in life and whole lot of other stuff comes with it. One of the big things that comes with fate is an honour-shame morality. That is to accept a moral universe where the primary goal is protecting your honour and avoiding shame.
I put it that way advisedly, by the way, because gaining honour is a nearly impossible thing to do. Trying to increase your honour is a deadly dangerous thing to do because it upsets the moral order and others will try and slap you down. Think of George Darrow's attitude to Sophy in this regard. He sees her possibility of marrying up as a questionable thing always. It doesn't sit well with him. Anna, on the other hand, while not completely comfortable about it, sees the possibility for it.
And if we watch Darrow carefully, we will notice that he is always on the watch to protect his honour. When (in Chapter 11) he and Anna discuss the "obstacle" that led her to put him off, his sole concern is in protecting his honour. He never has even a tinge of guilt about the thing but rather feels shame.
One of the reasons Darrow is so effective at manipulating people is that he never questions the ends. He never wonders whether someone who has done what he has done to Anna has the right to continue to pursue her. The possibility of shame—that she might not really want him—put him off completely but he never worries whether or not he is worthy of her. That he wants her is the only reason he needs. (and if that puts you in mind of Don Draper, you're absolutely right.)
There is a helpful little matrix to keep in mind when thinking about the differences between honour-shame morality and guilt-redemption morality that most of us know as Christian.
Situation one: You didn't do the bad thing and no one suspects you of having done it.
And notice how he lies. I should preface this by saying I think there are situations where lying is justified but notice that Darrow always lies to protect himself from shame, and sometimes to protect others from shame when it suits his purposes.
A final thought: there is no reason why the two moral syndromes can't co-exist in the same society. We all tend to bounce back and forth between the two. At home with your spouse, you'll tend to operate on guilt-redemption (I hope so anyway), but step onto a bus full of strangers and you'll probably start behaving in honour-shame terms. That is why the long-standing hypocrisy that puzzles morally immature people everywhere that it is okay to talk about some things in private but not in public.
And that brings me to Anna. She does go back and forth between the two. Listen to how she justifies her support for Owen's marriage even though it may not be a wise thing:
But there is one respect in which Anna is still like Darrow: she does not think quite so much of the ends as she might. She does not seem to really want things.She doesn't seem to dare to want.
I said somewhere in one of my earlier posts that ways of life come as packages. Accept a crucial notion such as fate as a major moral force in life and whole lot of other stuff comes with it. One of the big things that comes with fate is an honour-shame morality. That is to accept a moral universe where the primary goal is protecting your honour and avoiding shame.
I put it that way advisedly, by the way, because gaining honour is a nearly impossible thing to do. Trying to increase your honour is a deadly dangerous thing to do because it upsets the moral order and others will try and slap you down. Think of George Darrow's attitude to Sophy in this regard. He sees her possibility of marrying up as a questionable thing always. It doesn't sit well with him. Anna, on the other hand, while not completely comfortable about it, sees the possibility for it.
And if we watch Darrow carefully, we will notice that he is always on the watch to protect his honour. When (in Chapter 11) he and Anna discuss the "obstacle" that led her to put him off, his sole concern is in protecting his honour. He never has even a tinge of guilt about the thing but rather feels shame.
One of the reasons Darrow is so effective at manipulating people is that he never questions the ends. He never wonders whether someone who has done what he has done to Anna has the right to continue to pursue her. The possibility of shame—that she might not really want him—put him off completely but he never worries whether or not he is worthy of her. That he wants her is the only reason he needs. (and if that puts you in mind of Don Draper, you're absolutely right.)
There is a helpful little matrix to keep in mind when thinking about the differences between honour-shame morality and guilt-redemption morality that most of us know as Christian.
Situation one: You didn't do the bad thing and no one suspects you of having done it.
- Someone who operates on honour-shame feels justified.
- Someone who operates on guilt-redemption feels justified.
- Someone who operates on honour-shame feels shamed.
- Someone who operates on guilt-redemption feels justified.
- Someone who operates on honour-shame feels justified.
- Someone who operates on guilt-redemption feels guilt.
- Someone who operates on honour-shame feels shamed.
- Someone who operates on guilt-redemption feels guily.
And notice how he lies. I should preface this by saying I think there are situations where lying is justified but notice that Darrow always lies to protect himself from shame, and sometimes to protect others from shame when it suits his purposes.
A final thought: there is no reason why the two moral syndromes can't co-exist in the same society. We all tend to bounce back and forth between the two. At home with your spouse, you'll tend to operate on guilt-redemption (I hope so anyway), but step onto a bus full of strangers and you'll probably start behaving in honour-shame terms. That is why the long-standing hypocrisy that puzzles morally immature people everywhere that it is okay to talk about some things in private but not in public.
And that brings me to Anna. She does go back and forth between the two. Listen to how she justifies her support for Owen's marriage even though it may not be a wise thing:
What I've most wanted for him, and shall want for Effie, is that they shall always feel free to make their own mistakes, and never, if possible, be persuaded to make other people's. Even if Owen's marriage is a mistake, and has to be paid for, I believe he'll learn and grow in the paying.That is, if anything is, a statement of faith in the possibility of redemption.
But there is one respect in which Anna is still like Darrow: she does not think quite so much of the ends as she might. She does not seem to really want things.She doesn't seem to dare to want.
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