Effeminate men

There is a bit of a to do between Ann Althouse and Rush Limbaugh going on. The subject of their discussion is ultimately political and I have no interest in touching that but this comment of Althouse's struck me:

Limbaugh seems to have a general aversion to effeminate men (not to mention mannish women), and he's not processing this rather low reflex into much of anything but the repetition of the word "sissy."

This is one of those cases where both sides are wrong.

I'll be honest: I think there is something wrong with effeminate men. I've had very good friends who were effeminate just as I've had very good friends who drank too much or drove to fast or who cheated on their spouses. In all these cases, I think, "I love you but you really should do something about this."

Everyone prefers men who are not effeminate. It's not about sexual orientation. Don't believe me? Check out any personals ads listings anywhere in the world and compare the ratio of gay men looking for or claiming to be "straight looking and straight acting" to those looking for "gay looking, gay acting". I don't care what you like, but be a man please. If you're not a convincing man then you are not a man at all and chromosomes prove nothing here. Being a man is a public thing. Prove it. And then prove it again. And keep doing it until you die.

The other end doesn't bother me so much. Manly women I mean. I wouldn't consider a manly woman as a possible partner, assuming I were looking for a partner which I'm not. I'm sorry, I wouldn't even for a tiny second. But I don't look at manly women and think, this person has failed some sort of basic moral requirement.

I do think that when I see effeminate men and, now that I think about it, I have the same thought when I see hyper-feminine women. They come off like female, female impersonators (if that makes any sense) to me. I think, "You're over-compensating in the hopes that no one will notice some significant failings in your life as a woman."

But here is the thing, if effeminacy really is indication of some more general moral failing, then it shouldn't be necessary to call anyone a "sissy" and so forth. Look for the deeper failing and attack that. I'm sure Limbaugh could do that if he put his mind to it.